Just Reinforcing our Borders…
Baapolis Book of Kopernicus Volume 2 Chapter 19
General Iris shook away her frozenness and remarked, “OUR corgi guards…” with deep suspicion.
Houdini noted this, unsurprised. She always loved and trusted her corgis a little too much, in his opinion.
Sacha – the head butcher, though he moonlighted as a dead body investigator since the two trades going hand in hand – explained that the bite marks on the dead bull’s ears were quite shallow, the jaw force of a smaller canine. He lamented that though the force was small, he was ashamed that any canine had chosen to comply in the crime.
How dare you call us small… Corgi Zeta thought, chewing on every horrible word this sly wolf Sacha was spewing out. You ought to be ashamed of your… of your… Zeta couldn’t finish the thought. He had started trembling, knowing well that he was soon to be sifted out of the crowd for his wrongdoing. His nervousness steamed up so fast that he burst out, “I WAS NOT BRIBED!”
General Iris turned immediately to Zeta. “Come again, Dear Zeta?”
Houdini was fascinated. A corgi caught in the wrong. Score! “How intriguing,” he murmured to himself.
Corgi Zeta began his down-to-earth confession. “Ok… Alright…”
It turned out that Zeta had been patrolling the borders of Baapolis’ frontier pastures, all the way at the edges, near the mountains and the dense forests beyond. Baapolis sheep go there only rotationally, on days when they must graze the borders to keep the plant and vegetation variety in healthy growth. Usually there’s practically no one out there. Quite boring.
That day, it happened to be Zeta’s shift. Dogs on patrol often used their own pee as deterrence against other canine types entering the Baapolis area. Peeing and peeing, looking and looking. There was absolutely nothing dangerous.
Bored out of his mind, Zeta started fiddling with his new porcelain weapon, the Brussels Bludgeon with its many spikes pointing in all directions, made by Wittmund. That is when it hit him. He could pee on it, twirl it fast, and the pee would spray out in a wide circle. Far more efficient than peeing at one spot at a time.
The discovery lit him up. He danced and trodded his bludgeon along, drank more water, peed here, drank even more water, and peed everywhere. Hee hah! Hee hah! He got so carried away with his new ability that he tracked every smell and resolved to cover the whole frontier in his pee. He snouted his way forward and BOOUMP, he pushed his nose straight into a large bull.
The large bull was weeping. Tears streamed down his gleaming hide. Oh deary, thought Zeta. The bull, without any prompting, started telling Zeta that his brother had fallen from a cliff… and woooweeped, woooweeeped nonstop, “What do I doooo?”
“He was hysterical! I had to help him!” Zeta argued back to the crowd, who kept their eyes fixed on him, still hearing the imaginary drips of his pee…
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